


My ImmorTale aka MyImmortalTale

by DitzyCake



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Crack with Plot, Funny, M/M, Memes, More tags to be added, My Immortal - Freeform, Parody, Very vague mentions of sex, What the frickfrack diddlywhack smackback am i doing, and that is why i have made this fic as squick (trigger) free as possible, and vague mentions of genitals, because i know how annoying it is when you search, because self harm is not a source of humor, its like one sentence when it happens, made it readable, mentions of pedophilic voyuerism and they face the consequences, non-described nudity, other UT characters appear but theyre not main characters so not tagging them, papyrus is wearing a wig, quality humor, running jokes, self harm is replaced with use of cheap make-up, the drama is spanish-soap opera tier, the tags make it seem worse than its actually is?, very long shitpost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-24 07:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 5,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8363011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DitzyCake/pseuds/DitzyCake
Summary: you guys know very well what the title means. if not, get da hell out of here!also every other word is NOT a typo, so its actually readable. and remade some stuff to make it fit the characters.changed the title because 3 different people suggested it and they weren't even in the same chat.





	1. why am i writing this

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Special thanks to user who said that my AU was the worst. I didnt know if it was a compliment or serious so i made this fic. ElasticPoodle 4 helpin me with the story and spelling. U rok! Maximum-Overboner ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! 21 pilots ROX!
> 
> Just to be clear, this is Papyrus, not sans.

Hi my name is Eboney Dark’ness Ditzy Shark Box and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Undyne (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Mettaton but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a ghost but my body is corporeal. I have pale white bones. I’m also a mage, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Mettaton and I buy all my clothes from his stores. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black teethstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of punks stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Eboney!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Mettaton!!

“WHAT'S UP METTATON?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said fabulously.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.


	2. my computer is on low battery rn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess who im referencing at the end

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some juice from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MTT t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of scarves on my neck and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Elasoodle(AN: Elastic dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Mettaton NEO t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“OH MY DIDDLYWHACKING GOD, I saw you talking to Mettaton yesterday!” she said excitedly.

“YEAH? SO?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Mettaton?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

“NO I FRICKFRACKING DON’T!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Mettaton strided up to me.

“Hi” he said.

“HELLO.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what” he said.

“WHAT?” I asked.

“Well, I am having a concert at Grillbys” he told me.

“OH. MY FRAGGLING GOD!” I screamed. I love MTT. He is my favorite Artist. Tied with BoxMettaton and MettatonNeo

“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I squealed gothly (A/N IF WAVY BAYONETT GUY CAN MAKE UP HIS OWN WORDS, THEN SO CAN I!!!)


	3. why is nobody stopping me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i actually rewrote the story a bit. whew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wavy bayonet was Shakespeare all along...

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I didn’t make any spaghetti. I read a Fluffy bunny loses a friend while I waited for my urge for spaghetti faded. I painted my fingertips black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick around my teeth. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human-made juice so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Mettaton was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a black with red streaks, fabulous new chassis (everything he wears is fabulous), black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl robots wer it ok!).

“HI METTATON!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Eboney.” he said back. We walked into his flying black MTT (the license plate said 420) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Death by Glamour. We both smoked dog treats. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. He led me to the VIP seats while his fans were cheering him on, until he left for backstage.

“Don't you dare turn your heel from  
A meta-idol cause  
the crowd'll root for your death

Cryings not allowed  
Don't worry dear cause  
YOUR DEATH WILL BE OH SO GLAMOROUS.” sang Mettaton (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

“METTATON IS SO CRACKERJACKING SEXY” I said to no one, pointing to him as he sung, filling the bar with his amazing voice.

When Mettaton finished singing, I met him backstage

“WHAT’S WRONG?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“HEY I THINK THAT YOU ARE THE BEST MOST FABULOUS ROBOT IN THE WHOLE UNDER AND OVERGROUND”

“Really?” asked Mettaaton sensitively and he wrapped his arm around me all protective.

“REALLY” I said. “BESIDES, I DONT EVEN LIKE YOU BIGGEST RIVAL, I HEARD THEY ARE FRIENDS WITH JERRY” I said disgustedly, thinking of their ugly faces.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Mettaton. After the concert, we drank some spidercider and Took selfies together(the autograph of the future!). Mettaton and I crawled back into the MTT car, but Mettaton didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest! 

“DO YOU THINK THERE IS ANYTHING THAT ASGORE HAS NAMED WITH A SENSE OF ORIGINALITY?”

“Darling, if naming things were spices, he'd be flour”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS SO LATE AT NIGHT RIGHT NOW I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT IM SHITPOSTING ART INSTEAD


	4. my jokes are unintentional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love my jokes

“METTATON!” I shouted. “WHAT THE SIDETRACK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

Mettaton didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“WHAT THE FLIPFLOPPING HELL?” I asked angrily.

“Eboney?” he asked.

“WHAT?” I snapped.

Mettaton leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color lenses) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and glamourness and then suddenly I didn’t feel angry anymore.

And then… Mettaton kisses me! As well as a fabulous robot can on a skeleton with no lips! Mettaton climbed on top of me and we started to clash our mouths together sexily against a tree. He took of my top and I grasped at his chassis because i can't remove it. I even took of my wig. Then he put his glamorous robot thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

 

“NYEH! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to smash mouth's (A/N SOME BODY ONCE TOLD ME) everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE FRIGGEDYFRACK ARE YOU DOING YOU OEDIPUSES!”

It was…………………………………………………….ASGORE!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME  
> I AIN'T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED


	5. I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU HOW IM FEELING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> four people are watching me write this. so much laughing.

Asgore made and Mettaton and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You diddlywhacking fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of spaghetti sauce down my pallid face. Mettaton comforted me. When we went back to the castle Asgore took us to Professor Burgerpants and Professor McNugget who were both looking very angry.

“They were boondoggling in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor McNugget

“How dare you?” demanded Professor Burgerpants.

And then Mettaton exclaimed dramatically and fabulously as ever. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

Everyone was quiet. Asgore and Professor McNugget still looked mad but Professor Burgerpants said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Mettaton and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

“Are you okay, Eboney?” Mettaton asked me gently.

“YEAH I, GUESS” I lied. I went to the cool skeletons dorm(my room) and brushed my teeth and my face and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length cape with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Mettaton was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘never gonna give you up’ by Rick Astley. (A/N haha I got you didn't I) I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and clanked our mouths together. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. AND SO I WAKE IN THE MORNING AND I STEP OUTSIDE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im not even 100% sure i am publishing chapters in the right order

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with cool red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I glued on two pairs of cool skull earrings. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some oatmeal with very cool and gothly dinosaurs in it. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the oatmeal spilled over my top.

“Punk!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic girl with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. (A/N this isn't Fem!Bucky Barnes, it MyImmortal!Boobs Comely) she didn’t have mammary problems anymore and now she was wearing red contact lenses just like Mettaton’s and there was no scar on her boobs anymore. She had big boobs and a sexy English accent. She looked exactly like Joel Madden. She was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw her kind of like an erection only I’m a skeleton so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” she said in a shy sultry voice.

“THAT’S ALRIGHT, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?” I questioned.

“My name’s Boobs Comely, although most people call me Baboobers these days.” she moaned.

“WHY?” I exclaimed.

“Because I have big boobs” she giggled.

“WELL, I AM A GHOST, EXCEPT THAT I AM A CORPOREAL SKELETON!” I confessed.

“Really?” she whimpered.

“YEAH.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Mettaton came up behind me and told me he had a dashing surprise for me so I went away with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have written Oedipus instead of motherfucker.


	7. you meme a lot to me

Mettaton and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red ring pop candy on my fingers and red nailpolish. I waved to Boobs. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Mettaton. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Mettaton. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started smash mouth's (A/N THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME) and he took off my clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather scarf and he took off his pants(?????). We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his robot thingy in my skeleton thingy and we BONED.

“NYEH! M-METTATON!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a engraved picture I had never seen before on Mettatons arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in sparkly bloody gothic writing were the words………… Baboobers!

I was so angry.

“YOU SLACKMACKING CALCULATOR!” I shouted angrily, and backflipped out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Mettaton pleaded. But I knew too much.

“NO, YOU KNOCKOFF !” I shouted. “YOU PROBABLY HAVE MALWARE ANYWAY!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Mettaton ran out even though he was naked, which by technically, he always is, but he wasn't wearing his fabulous chassis, he was without extra glamour. He was naked. He had a really big robot you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Baboobers classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Burgerpants and some other people.

“BABOOBERS COMLEY, YOU OIDIPUS!” I yelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i published the chapters in the wrong order fml


	8. bingledonk flibbergast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i still refuse to use swears soley for the lulz

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Mettaton came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

 

“Eboney, it’s not what you think!” Mettaton screamed dramatically.

 

My friend c’omic sans smiled at me understandably. He flipped his long waist-length gothic black hair (A/N they were wigz!!) and opened his tomato red eyes. He was wearing magical contact lenses on. He had pale white bones that he was wearing white makeup on. 

 

Alpyus Oobeaw was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a mage but Jerry killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and suffers from depression. It also turns out her real last name is Oobeaw and not Weaboo. (Since she has converted to Pastafarianism, she is in Slytherin now and not Gryffindor. )

 

“What is it that you desire, you farcical numskull!” Burgerpants demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

 

“BABOOBERS, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH METTATON!” I shouted at him.

 

Everyone gasped.

 

Mettaton didn't know why Eboney was so mad at him. he had went out with Baboobers (he’s bi and so is Eboney) for a while but then he broke his heart. He dumped him because he liked PussyFart McGee, a stupid punk dingledonger. They were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a punk.)

 

“But I’m not going out with Mettaton anymore!” said Baboobers.

 

“YEAH THAT'S FRITTFRACKING RIGHT! HECK THE HECK OFF, YOU PUNK!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Mettaton and then I started to burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i misspelled Alphyus name, but since i was livestreaming (??????i let them watch while i rewrote????????) they insisted on keeping it like that. and i decided "yeah, i can do to her name what tumblr does with flippersnack cucumberbatch


	9. bush did 9/11

I was so mad and sad. smad. I couldn’t trust Mettaton for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did the monster mash with Mettaton.

 

Then all of a suddenly, a horrible creature with red eyes and no glamour approached! He started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn’t have a nose and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Jerry!

 

“NO!” I shouted in a scared and disgusted voice, but then Jerry shouted “Imperius!” and I couldn’t run away.

 

“THEREISNOWIFI!” I shouted at him. Jerry fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

 

“Eboney.” he yelled. “You must like, kill Boobs Comley!”

 

I thought about Baboobers and her sexy eyes and her gothic black hair and how her face looks just like Bosoms Fantasia. I remembered that Mettaton had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Mettaton went out with Baboobers before I went out with him and they broke up?

 

“NO, JERRY!” I shouted back.

 

Jerry gave me 1$ lipstick. “NO! PLEASE!!” I begged.

 

“You have to!” he yelled. “If you don’t, then i will totally kill Mettaton!”

 

“HOW DID YOU KNOW?” I asked in a surprised way.

 

Jerry got a dude-ur-so-stupid look on his repulsive face. “I have telekinesis.” he answered cruelly.  
“WOWIE, SO YOU’RE LIKE, TELEPATHETIC?” 

 

“Its telepathic-,”  
“BUT YOU’RE STILL PATHETHIC” i grumbled  
“-and if you don’t not kill Baboober, then you’ll see what happens to Mettaton!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

 

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Mettaton came into the woods.

 

“METTATON!” I said. “HI!”

 

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all somber. He was wearing grey foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a mix between his Box and NEO form

 

“ARE YOU OKAY?” I asked.

 

“No” he answered.

 

“I'M SORRY I GOT ALL MAD AT YOU, BUT I THOUGHT YOU CHEATED ON ME” I explained

 

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back to Hogwarts so we could kiss (smash our mouths together) (A/N I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The worst part of writing this, is that i actually have to read My Immortal


	10. dicks out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original chapter was too edgy so i made it less edgy.

I was really scared about Jerry all day. I was still upset when i went to my gothic metal band Rib Busters 420. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are C’omic Sans, Boobs Comley, Mettaton, and Undyne (although we call her shrak now. she has dyed her hair with black stripes now.) and Toriel. Only today Mettaton and Baboobers were too struggling too much with depression, so they weren’t coming to practise, so we wrote lyrics instead. I knew Mettaton was probably applying cheap non-gothic make up as a form of self harm (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can dust a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (((there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak)yes a steak, it’s not a typo) and Baboobers was probably watching a sad movie like Avatar: The Last airbender. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my ribs and tiny matching miniskirt that said bad to the bone on the butt. You might think I’m a fuckboi but I’m really not.

 

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

 

“Eboney! Are you OK?” C’omic Sans asked in a concerted voice.

 

“WHAT THE FRIGGEDYFRACK DO YOU THINK?” I asked irritated And then I said. “WELL, JERRY CAME AND THE FUGLY BASTARD TOLD ME TO SLICKNAKKIN DUST BABOOBERS! BUT I DONT WANT TO DUST HER, BECAUSE, SHE IS REALLY NICE, EVEN IF SHE DID GO OUT WITH METTATON. BUT IF DON’T DUST BABOOBERS, THEN JERRY, WILL VRICKFRAGGING DUST METTATON!” I burst into tears.  
Suddenly Mettaton jumped out from behind a wall.

 

“Why didn’t you glitchlagging tell me!?” he shouted. “How could you- you- you slakkwaxxing faker human escort!” (c is dat out of character?)

 

I started to cry and cry. Mettaton started to cry too, all sensitive. Then he ran (like on a catwalk) out crying.

 

We wrote for one more hour. Then suddenly Asgore walked in furious! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

 

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Eboney, Mettaton has been found in his room. Short Circuited permanently by using too much low-tier brand makeup”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #DicksOutForMettaton


	11. FEAR IS HOW I FALL, CONFUSING WHAT IS REAL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title will make sense once you read the chapter lmao

“NO!” I screamed. I was horrified! C’omic Sans tried to comfort me but I told him to frick off as I ran to my room crying uncontrollably. Asgore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause it said “No boys allowed except me and Mettaton” and he has to respect my boundaries

 

Anyway, I started crying tears of magic and then I applied knock-off eyeshadow on myself. it got all over my clothes so I took them off and backflipped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume.”CRAAAAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIN. THEEEESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAAAAAAAAL” I grabbed a steak (yes, the meat kind) and almost stuck it into my ribcage to dust myself. I was so flickflacking heartbroken! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sadly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings.(I HAVE A LOT OF DUCT TAPE!!) I couldn’t chikkclakkin believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Burgerpants was spying on me and he was filming me! And Aaron was flexing to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

 

“EW, YOU FLIPFLOPPING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PERVS OR WHAT!?” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Mettaton NEO on it. Suddenly Baboobers ran in.

 

“Abra Kadabra!” She yelled at Burgerpants and Loopin pointing her womb. I don't know if she knew, but those are Pokémon, and she said the wrong curse, but i didn't have time to think of it at that time, because she was somehow pointing her womb at them instead of her wand. Maybe that is why she said the wrong curse.

 

I took my 1$ lipstick and smeared it all over Burgerpants and Aaron a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke from the sheer horror of someone wearing such cheap make-up. Suddenly, Asgore ran in. “Eboney, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Burgerpants and Aaron and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

 

Toriel ran outside on her broom and said “everyone we need to talk”

 

“What do you know, Toriel? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”

 

“I may be a hogwarts student….” Toriel paused angrily. “But I am also a pastafarian!”

 

“This cannot be.” Burgerpants said in a crisp voice as dust dripped from his hand where Asgore’s wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

 

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

 

Aaron held up the camera triumphantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!” ;)

 

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough juice.

 

“Why are you doing this?” ;) Aaron said angrily while he flexed his dirty arms

 

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to slap him with the power of a 1000 soap opera wives that had been lied to by their men, because I felt faint.

 

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Toriel said and she paused in the air dramatically, waving her wand in the air. Then she swooped in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

 

“Because you’re goffic?” Burgerpants asked in a reluctant voice cause he was afraid it meant she was connected with The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

 

“Because I LOVE HIM!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have literally no idea of what is going on at the end.


	12. ayy lmao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> self harming is bad, kiddos.

I was about to apply cheap eye shadow that contained silver that Mettaton had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

 

“NO!” i thought it was Toriel who protested, but it was Baboobers, she started to scream. “Oh my glob! It hurts!” and then her eyes rolled up! You could only see her the milky white sclera, and a part of her iris.

 

I stopped. “HOW DID YOU KNOW?”

 

“I saw it! And my scar turned back into the oddly coincidental form of a pair of breasts!”

 

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I THOUGHT YOUR SCAR HAD DISAPPEARED!” I shouted.

 

“It did but Elasdoodle changed it into a pile of spaghetti for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” she said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the oddly coincidental pair of boobs! Save me!”  
As she was asking for help, I had a vision of what was happening to Mettaton…………….Jerry has him bounded”

 

Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my face being covered in low-tier make-up. Burgerpants, Aaron and Toriel were there too. They were going to St. Mango’s after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot monsters. Asgore had confiscated the video camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them. (A/N notice how i did not change the f-word because i do not support pedos, you better remember this because in the future your teacher will say “what did she mean by this?”)

 

Anyway Toriel came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink echo flowers.

 

“Eboney, I need to tell you something.” she said in a very serious voice, giving me the echo flowers.

 

“BACK OFF” I told here. “YOU KNOW HOW I DON'T LIKE THE COLOR PINK, AND I DON'T LIKE PUNKS LIKE YOU.” I snapped. Toriel d had been mean to me before for being gottik.

 

“No Eboney.” Toriel says. “Those are not echo flowers”

 

“WHAT, ARE THEY GOFF TOO, YOU FAKER PUNK?” I asked cause I was angry that she had brought me PINK echo flowers, out of all the alternatives.

 

“I saved your life!” she yelled frustrated “NO YOU DIDN’T” I snapped. “YOU SAVED ME FROM GETTING A UNDERAGE KRIM KARDASHJAN NUDE VIDEO MADE FROM ME TAKING A SHOWER BURGERPANTS AND AARON, WHO FLEXED TO IT”  
“Whatever!” she yelled agitated.

 

she pointed her wand at the pink echo flowers. “These aren’t echo flowers”  
“NO DUH, THEY HAVEN'T REPEATED ANYTHING WE’VE SAID, GEE, YOU'RE BOTH STUPID AND DUMB”  
She suddenly looked at them with an evil look in her eye and muttered “Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY!”

 

“THAT'S NOT A SONG, THAT'S A MCR SONG” I corrected her with the wisdom of a 1000 high school girls

 

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cords.” Then she screamed. “ORD UTAN MENING BETYDER MYCKET NÄR MAN INTE FÖRSTÅR!”

 

And then the echo flowers turned into a huge black twister of spaghetti, floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew she wasn’t a punk.

 

“OK I believe you now where the friggedyfrog is Mettaton?”

 

Toriel rolled her eyes. I looked into the meatballs of the twister but I couldn't see anything

 

“You see Eboney” Asgore said, observing the two of us watching the twister. “To see whats in the twister, you have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self only then will your true self reveal itself, ok?”

 

“I have found myself okay you rotten old man!!” Toriel yelled. Asgore looked shocked. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back.

 

Toriel stormed off back into his bed. “You’re a liar, Professor Asgore! Or should i say, ASSgore!!!”

 

Anyways…

 

when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a punk so fuk off!) and I put on strawberry juice-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

 

“You look so kawaii, dude” C’omic Sans said sadly. “THANKS, YOU LOOK GOOD TOO” I replied sadly. I was still upset. I covered my arm in cheap make-upm feeling totally depressed and I drank all the juice i could find. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on because i was still scared that Burgerpants and Aaron would spy on me. I went to some classes. Baboobers was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Mettaton had disappeared and she used to be in love with Mettaton. she was drinking some juice she had stolen from a Hufflepuff.

 

“Hi” he said in a depressed way. “HI BACK” I said in an equally somber way

 

We both looked at each other for some time. Boobs Comley had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Mettaton. Then……… we jumped on each other and started doing thing adults do in bed on each other.

 

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McNugget who was watching us and so was everyone else.

 

“Baboobers you fucker!” I said slapping her. “Stop trying to adult activitytate me. You know I loved Mettaton!” I shouted and then I ran away furious.

 

Just then he started to scream. “OH MY GLOB! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. her eyes rolled up again! Once again, you could only see her whites.

 

“NO!” I ran up closer.

 

“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.

 

“I do but Elastoodle changed it into a pile of spaghetti for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” she said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Mettaton…………….Jerry has him bondage!”

 

“YOU SAW IT TOO?


	13. the plot thiccens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so I wake in the morning  
> And I step outside  
> And I take a deep breath and I get real high  
> And I scream from the top of my lungs  
> What's going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I say, hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah  
> I said hey, what's going on?

Baboobers and I ran up the stairs looking for Asgore We were so scared.

 

“ASGORE! ASGORE!!” we both yelled. Asgore showed up

 

“What is it that you want now you vile snobs?” he asked in displeasure.

 

“JERRY HAS METTATON!” we shouted at the same time.

 

He laughed in a villainous voice.

 

“No! Don’t! We need to save Mettaton!” we begged.

 

“No.” he said in animosity. “I don’t give a diddlydarn of what Jerry does to Mettaton. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Eboney.” he continues, while frowning at me “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then he walked away. Baboobers started crying. “My Mettaton!” she cried out.

 

“IT'S OKAY!” I tried to console her but that didn’t stop her. she started to cry. Then she had an idea“I have an idea!” she exclaimed.

 

“WHAT?” I asked her

 

“You’ll see.” she said. She took out her wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Jerrys lair!  
Personally, i wouldn't call it a lair, the dust wasn't real dust, it was cheeto dust, the air smelt disgusting, but it wasn't the dank smell you would usually find in enclosed dark places (A/N not dank memes)

 

“LUMOS!”

 

It was his basement

 

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a nasal voice say. “avada kedavra!”  
It was……………………………….. Jerry!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I say, hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah  
> I said hey, what's going on?


	14. spoopy chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the plot is getting thiccer than my thights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD

We sprinted to where Jerry was. It turned out that it wasn't Jerry who was there. Instead the fat guy who killed Asriel was. Mettaton was there crying tears of glitter. Flowey was torturing him. Baboobers and I ran in front of Flowey.

 

“Scram you vile punks!” he shouted as we started smearing him with the 1$ Lipstick. Then he without warning stared at me as he fell down with a lovestruck, mushy look in his eyes. “EboneyIloveYouWillYouHavePutYourThingyInMyThingyWithMe?” he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

 

“HUH?”   
”Eboney I love you will you take me to the bonezone?” asked Flowey. I started laughing crudely. “WHAT THE FLICKFLACK? YOU TORTURE MY BOYFRIEND AND THEN EXPECT ME TO BONE YOU? YOU BLOG YOU ARE SO FRACKLED UP, YOU BRIGBRAFFLING DEGENERATE” I said in displeasure. Then I sprayed him with weed killer. his body shriveled up as all the color left his body

 

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He screamed and flailed around like a stranded magikarp, until he fell down and turned to dust. A few tears ran down my face in a state of melancholy. 

 

“Flowey, like, what are you doing?” called Jerry, his voice getting closer, we could hear his disgusting body moving along the dirty floor, the stench he produced getting thicker and thicker. So we got on our broomsticks and we escaped through a window, heading back to Hogwarts. We arrived in my room and Baboobers left immediately. There I started crying.

 

“What’s wrong honey?” asked Mettaton taking off his fashionable clothes so we could screw.(geddit because he's a robot)in my eyes, he was the sexiest rectangle/humanoid robot in the word.

 

“IT’S SO UNFAIR!” I yelled. “WHY CAN'T I JUST BE UGLY OR PLAIN LIKE ALL THE OTHER MONSTERS AND PUNKS HERE EXCEPT FOR C’OMIC SANS BECAUSE HE'S NOT UGLY OR ANYTHING”

"Oh darling, why would you want to be ugly? i like you for being you." soothed Mettaton

“YEAH BUT EVERYONE IS IN LOVE WITH ME! BURGERPANTS AND AARON FILMED ME WHILE I WAS NAKED, TORIEL SAYS SHE’S IN LOVE WITH ME, BABOOBERS LIKES ME NOW AND EVEN FLOWEY IS IN LOVE WITH ME! I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU, METTATON! WHY COULDN’T THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER HAVE MADE ME LESS BEAUTIFUL?” I shouted in outrage. “IM TOO GREAT AT EVERYTHING! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S LIKE I’M CURSED!” I shouted and then I ran away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a pause while writing this chapter while listening to music. i straight up fell asleep. i think my "chill" playlist might be too chill...  
> need me a "hype" playlist instead


	15. A romance like never before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> very romantic chapter, prepare to swoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I TOOK MORE THAN 24 HOURS TO UPDATE IM SORRY, I WAS TOO BUSY SHITPOSTING AND PLAYING TETRIS

“Eboney Eboney!” shouted Mettaton desperately “Darling, please, come back!”

 

But I was too upset.

 

“WHATEVER! NOW YOU CAN GO BACK AND BONE BABOOBERS!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and banged the door closed. I started to cry and weep. I opened a bag of cheap store-brand apple juice, and drank it all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

 

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Bad To The Bone on the front in cherry red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with ruby red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and miserable as usual. I did some advanced Biology work. I was turning a plate of spaghetti into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Mettaton!

 

“Eboney I love you!” he shouted woefully “I don't care what those punks and fakers think. You’re the most beautiful, fabulous skeleton in the world! Before I met you I used to want to short circuit all the time. Now I just want to be with you! I love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “Never Gonna Give You Up” (We considered it our song because we fell in love when we got rickrolled) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dont no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

 

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some shilpit punks stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Mettaton’s now) at them. “I LOVE YOU!” I said and then we started to kiss just like a white straight couple in any love story that get advertised as “a love story like never before”. 

 

we went away holding hands. Doggo shouted at us but he stopped because everyone was clapping by how glamorous we looked together. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert at Grillbys right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does anyone actually read this? because I'm getting kinda discouraged.

**Author's Note:**

> don't forget to comment fangz <3


End file.
